Sometimes I feel lucky, lucky that I get to experience love.

Love is the culprit. The thief who manages to steal all my anxiety, depression and feelings of loneliness away.

Love, in my eyes, is unparalleled… but with love, fear also seeps in.

What is worse than fearing another heartbreak is fearing rejection. I guess you can argue that the two go hand in hand but in my eyes, that is not necessarily true. I can endure a heartbreak without the feelings of rejection but I cannot endure rejection without the heartbreak.

There were two other people I loved, well using the term love in a romantic sense… haha… I was heartbroken but I also caused my own heartbreak since it was my own choice to end the relationship.

I end relationships because I fear rejection. I fear completely opening up to a person… being completely vulnerable and one day they realize I am not enough.

How is that any way to live? I don’t want to live in fear. I want to be comfortable enough to share all my feelings… the happy and sad ones.

I know that it is unnatural for an individual to be happy all the time so then why do I try to act like that is what everyone expects?

I’m not saying that it is easy to be completely open with another person, without creating this happy facade but I think with the right person maybe it is easier.

Because love is one of my antidepressants, where I truly feel happy and feel like I can be myself. Maybe not all of myself because I am a lot, at times, but feel the most like myself in a while.

Here’s to opening up to others and acceptance.

Not simply acceptance from others, but acceptance from myself.

-T ❤